TOP ABSOLVES TOP CONDEMNS
Anonymously Confess Here
Getting a tattoo today is the exact opposite of creative, edgy and original. Let me mark my calendar for 20 years from now when you will look like a even bigger schmuck than you are now.
  • ABSOLVE : 107
  • CONDEMN : 66
I started a rumor the CD was looking for a new job just to freak everyone out.
  • ABSOLVE : 81
  • CONDEMN : 13
I love sniffing Sharpie markers.
  • ABSOLVE : 90
  • CONDEMN : 15
I condemn those who think brainstorming is everything.
  • ABSOLVE : 87
  • CONDEMN : 14
I am sick of being a slave to round after round of revisions
  • ABSOLVE : 213
  • CONDEMN : 9
"Work Week" - an advertising Haiku. Work week at a glance, Yelled at for no overtime, Yelled at for to much.
  • ABSOLVE : 26
  • CONDEMN : 17
I Google 90% of what I need to do on a daily basis...Thank you mid-year raise!
  • ABSOLVE : 59
  • CONDEMN : 38
Headhunters should have their heads cut off.
  • ABSOLVE : 50
  • CONDEMN : 18
I sold out and became a corporate designer because I just need a few years of my boss telling me I'm brilliant and talented.
  • ABSOLVE : 113
  • CONDEMN : 2
i'm a creative director, and increasingly i'm finding other creatives to be self important morons.
  • ABSOLVE : 88
  • CONDEMN : 16
I asked my director for verbiage - he responded Ipsem lorem - should I tell him he's too stupid to try to be funny
  • ABSOLVE : 42
  • CONDEMN : 10
Those who can, do. Those who can't... become clients and criticize you for doing.
  • ABSOLVE : 138
  • CONDEMN : 7
i hate all copywriters...
  • ABSOLVE : 33
  • CONDEMN : 141
I used Arial today.
  • ABSOLVE : 129
  • CONDEMN : 32
Sometimes I wish I was dumb so I can be rid of being responsible for myself.
  • ABSOLVE : 77
  • CONDEMN : 8
I almost called "bullshit" on a conference call with the client's "brand" agency today after they wasted an hour of our day presenting a deck full of nothing but a bunch of irrelevant charts and boxes and they had the nerve to call it an idea.
  • ABSOLVE : 66
  • CONDEMN : 6
When someone asks me to do something I have no idea how to do, I will invariably say "Yes." and then learn how to do it.
  • ABSOLVE : 189
  • CONDEMN : 10
I'm a designer who secretly has a giant crush on an account manager.
  • ABSOLVE : 52
  • CONDEMN : 65
No, I don't "know what you mean."
  • ABSOLVE : 146
  • CONDEMN : 1
Just because I wrote an idea in an email that's sent to your inbox doesn't make it "our" idea.
  • ABSOLVE : 132
  • CONDEMN : 5
I just started a new job and they gave me admin rights to my laptop. I've never had a better first day.
  • ABSOLVE : 98
  • CONDEMN : 2
I couldn't make it in New York, so I moved somewhere else and became a happy person.
  • ABSOLVE : 165
  • CONDEMN : 3
For our Halloween costume contest I'm going as something noone here has seen before. A concept.
  • ABSOLVE : 80
  • CONDEMN : 4
Twitter is not Customer Service and clients who treat it as such deserve the disappointment they experience.
  • ABSOLVE : 52
  • CONDEMN : 9
Ive been sat at my desk for 14 hours. Ill be back here in 6. It takes me 2 hours to commute. This industry is dreadful.
  • ABSOLVE : 84
  • CONDEMN : 8
Every day I come in I hope I'm fired just so I can go home and sleep.
  • ABSOLVE : 88
  • CONDEMN : 3
My coworker of 6 years used my design work for his portfolio and got a new job. I'm so glad I left my files accessible. I hated him.
  • ABSOLVE : 91
  • CONDEMN : 2
If you don't come to the after-work drinks and don't even acknowledge me in the corridor; don't expect me to sign your fucking birthday card.
  • ABSOLVE : 75
  • CONDEMN : 1
If I hear the word 'essentially' in another briefing I will flip the fuck out.
  • ABSOLVE : 48
  • CONDEMN : 3
It's always the clients that you've done your best work for. Cunts.
  • ABSOLVE : 30
  • CONDEMN : 5
if i hear someone say millennial one more time i might throw my computer at them.
  • ABSOLVE : 81
  • CONDEMN : 1
"Spring" is a theme not a concept you idiots.
  • ABSOLVE : 56
  • CONDEMN : 1
I don't even look forward to Friday anymore
  • ABSOLVE : 61
  • CONDEMN : 8
Love seeing the CD and AD pitch my work as their own. Apparently if you don't take a million cigarette breaks a day, your ideas belong to those who do.
  • ABSOLVE : 68
  • CONDEMN : 4
I started reading a book on Haiku. It inspired me: Client request made / Unintelligible mess / Proceed with caution.
  • ABSOLVE : 43
  • CONDEMN : 3
I looked like such a loser when I asked my creative team if they've heard of the creative confessional.
  • ABSOLVE : 47
  • CONDEMN : 1
I bring my laptop to meeting so I can talk shit on IM about people in the room.
  • ABSOLVE : 62
  • CONDEMN : 5
I wonder what subway will do when people realize the Jared story is fake
  • ABSOLVE : 41
  • CONDEMN : 1
The official "fall uniform" for women in New York: yoga pants & cowboy boots. Sometimes Uggs.
  • ABSOLVE : 19
  • CONDEMN : 28
Just once I'd like to have a hot lunch at a table that isn't my desk.
  • ABSOLVE : 76
  • CONDEMN : 2
My insides are dead. You could kill a puppy in front of me and I wouldn't flinch.
  • ABSOLVE : 50
  • CONDEMN : 5
Today I explained what kerning was to the 65 year old "graphic services" lady who learned Illustrator from a book. She has no formal education or training. Her results are similar to the results of learning how to drive from Grand Theft Auto.
  • ABSOLVE : 57
  • CONDEMN : 1
Let's be clear - men don't belong in this industry.
  • ABSOLVE : 49
  • CONDEMN : 105
I'm going to start a business selling hashtags to clueless marketing VPs.
  • ABSOLVE : 73
  • CONDEMN : 2
I don't care that you worked at Razorfish for 4 months, you still, and always will suck to me.
  • ABSOLVE : 46
  • CONDEMN : 4
Someone tell the client that "a logo and legal copy" is not a viable substitute for "a concept and an idea."
  • ABSOLVE : 25
  • CONDEMN : 2
The overflow freelance copywriter (who I trained) is so sweet and popular in this office, she now gets all the new business projects and I’m stuck writing spam emails. Revenge will be mine.
  • ABSOLVE : 41
  • CONDEMN : 15
I do not live and breathe advertising. I am not a creative ninja. I'm not a storyteller. I'm an artist, who creates many things across many forms of media. I'm someone, who respects the golden age of advertising, how far we've come, but also am aware of the dangers advertising plays in today's world as clients want everything to be dumbed down into six second videos, hashtags, giveaways, and Youtube spots. All for the sake of a "like" or instant gratification. We as creatives are better than that. Advertising is my passion, but it is not my life. I have a dedicated life outside of work and a dedicated life to my work when I work. Never stop having a life outside of your job, regardless of what you do. Never let that cliché fire inside of you burn out because you'll cease being a creative, a designer, and above all...an artist. No one deserves to become a creative zombie.
  • ABSOLVE : 135
  • CONDEMN : 22
I don't get paid enough by the hour for this assignment so I'll just add a few more hours to the invoice to balance it out. I'm just being creative.
  • ABSOLVE : 90
  • CONDEMN : 7
My marketing client asked me to reserve a hashtag.
  • ABSOLVE : 39
  • CONDEMN : 5
Logo.doc
  • ABSOLVE : 40
  • CONDEMN : 60
I'm being far too efficient with this job, I best add a few hours to the invoice. Rent's gotta be paid one way or another.
  • ABSOLVE : 17
  • CONDEMN : 3
I like the smallerness of it.
  • ABSOLVE : 15
  • CONDEMN : 6
I spend so much of my time trawling through stock photography libraries. Sometimes, when I can't bring myself to look at another collection of cunts shaking hands, I lock myself in the lavatory and hold my penis. That time gets charged to the client.
  • ABSOLVE : 66
  • CONDEMN : 11
The Quizno's "Floasted Subs" ads are flucking stupid.
  • ABSOLVE : 45
  • CONDEMN : 2
My clients don’t know a good ad when they see one. They need moms in New Jersey to point it out for them. You can imagine how that works out.
  • ABSOLVE : 35
  • CONDEMN : 0
-Me: Did you get the logo? -Him: Yes -Me: What did you think? -Him: It's disappointing... (with a stupid smirk) -Me: Oh... -Him: I know it's free, but come on... I'll go somewhere else... Never be nice to people. fuck them.
  • ABSOLVE : 80
  • CONDEMN : 0
My job is to ask how things are coming along and then report that information back. What the **** is this life.
  • ABSOLVE : 28
  • CONDEMN : 4
The day the guys downstairs realize that its not that I LIKE THEM, am just there for the good coffee, is the day I get another job.
  • ABSOLVE : 9
  • CONDEMN : 13
I've spent the last 2 days writing porn stories for, ah, "personal use" featuring a few of my coworkers. My introverted but hot AD has a starring role.
  • ABSOLVE : 28
  • CONDEMN : 15
Art Director: Shart Detector
  • ABSOLVE : 14
  • CONDEMN : 5
Recruiters are like Brokers....they love to copy paste sh*t from other sites and call it theirs.
  • ABSOLVE : 13
  • CONDEMN : 1
I'm not in the office today due to doctor's appointments... Doctors like Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz....
  • ABSOLVE : 30
  • CONDEMN : 4
I, myself, am NSFW.
  • ABSOLVE : 81
  • CONDEMN : 4
I hate accidentally clicking on someone's LinkedIn profile in fear of them egotistically thinking I have even the slightest interest in viewing their profile.
  • ABSOLVE : 83
  • CONDEMN : 3
I'm at the point where hearing the word 'content' makes me crave a shot of tequila. And I hate tequila.
  • ABSOLVE : 51
  • CONDEMN : 2
While ironing my pleated jeans, I overheard in the background the Burger King commercial for "SatisFries." I could've sworn they were saying "SaddestFries."
  • ABSOLVE : 32
  • CONDEMN : 5
i actually work at a good agency and i read this blog to understand the dark side of advertising.
  • ABSOLVE : 37
  • CONDEMN : 51
I totally get that great ideas come from the mind of Mary Jane, but if you have to visit her while you watch your kids, or drive your car, or just to breath in general... you've got a problem and it's not anxiety.
  • ABSOLVE : 22
  • CONDEMN : 7
I just slapped the creative director.
  • ABSOLVE : 71
  • CONDEMN : 6
My office should be on an episode of Hoarders
  • ABSOLVE : 48
  • CONDEMN : 0
I just spent a portion of my day teaching my Creative Director how to use Photoshop.
  • ABSOLVE : 56
  • CONDEMN : 13
Regardless of being an Art Director, I spend most of my day playing as my Supervisor's therapist.
  • ABSOLVE : 31
  • CONDEMN : 3
At this point I just ignore NSFW warnings.
  • ABSOLVE : 68
  • CONDEMN : 0
Five days a week the is too damn much. I need to call in sick more often.
  • ABSOLVE : 31
  • CONDEMN : 5
I really don't know why I'm in advertising. I'm a marxist, I don't believe in the system and all these superstructures make me angry. I've a lot of lucid dreams about clients execution on Red Square
  • ABSOLVE : 48
  • CONDEMN : 35
I never answer the phone when it rings.
  • ABSOLVE : 95
  • CONDEMN : 8
The MD just sang Blurred Lines. If it happens again, I'm out.
  • ABSOLVE : 55
  • CONDEMN : 8
One of the people in our production department is a nasty mess and we are secretly filming her so we can pitch a reality show about her tragic life.
  • ABSOLVE : 22
  • CONDEMN : 75
I spend most of the workday chasing away my unhappiness with junk food and searching for a new job on my phone.
  • ABSOLVE : 59
  • CONDEMN : 4
Our Chief Visual Officer's Instagram & Twitter feed is 98% photos of food
  • ABSOLVE : 14
  • CONDEMN : 24
I'm still waiting for the ''perfect time'' to write my novel. I know it will never come.
  • ABSOLVE : 37
  • CONDEMN : 15
I still dont understand what fonts work on Mac, I just try, and see if t fails.
  • ABSOLVE : 29
  • CONDEMN : 22
The client's idea was better than mine.
  • ABSOLVE : 41
  • CONDEMN : 67
Art Director is just a fancy name for a Graphic Designer that has to deal with more bullshit.
  • ABSOLVE : 113
  • CONDEMN : 3
I have done nothing for 2 weeks.
  • ABSOLVE : 126
  • CONDEMN : 18
I spent a small fortune on a copy writting diploma. Today, I am forced to write landing pages containing errors, because some lost soul might use the wrong spelling in their google search.
  • ABSOLVE : 48
  • CONDEMN : 30
I'm so tired of copywriters using their job title as an excuse to not know technology.
  • ABSOLVE : 54
  • CONDEMN : 13
This week, my agency is going on a field trip to a Sagmeister exhibit. More like the CCO is looking for material to plagiarize...
  • ABSOLVE : 21
  • CONDEMN : 2
Today's client mandated image search was for a "retired eskimo". I can't even make this shit up.
  • ABSOLVE : 48
  • CONDEMN : 0
I hate that our only HR person is a gossip.
  • ABSOLVE : 53
  • CONDEMN : 4
"Working through lunch" is not in my vocabulary.
  • ABSOLVE : 57
  • CONDEMN : 8
How do I sleep at night? Imagining there's an apocalypse and my useless, gossipy, hypocritical, and downright obnoxious new micromanager turns into a zombie and I have to repeatedly bash in his skull with a shovel. You know, for the sake of humanity... Yeah, that lulls me to sleep like a baby.
  • ABSOLVE : 69
  • CONDEMN : 2
Caught the ECD at a bar cheating on his wife. I'll either get fired or promoted soon.
  • ABSOLVE : 117
  • CONDEMN : 4
Vodka Tonics and Mondays always keep me calm.
  • ABSOLVE : 17
  • CONDEMN : 3
I refuse to do ads for cigarette companies. I may be a whore, but I have my standards.
  • ABSOLVE : 92
  • CONDEMN : 19
I hate it when I leave my cocaine at home.
  • ABSOLVE : 39
  • CONDEMN : 22
Client: "Do you think you could make the make the goldfish less grumpy looking?" Me: "Yes, of course we can." I hate myself.
  • ABSOLVE : 65
  • CONDEMN : 11
I never hire women under the age of 35, just to avoid having to deal with training a temp and retraining mom after a 3-6 month maternity leave.
  • ABSOLVE : 38
  • CONDEMN : 144
Currently devising a plot to get my Vinyard Vines clad CD, who refers to herself as a "hipster," fired.
  • ABSOLVE : 55
  • CONDEMN : 10
I secretly love my job, but pretend to hate it because I want to fit in.
  • ABSOLVE : 84
  • CONDEMN : 25
Would like to thank Yahoo! for giving me a new BS line for clients: "We tilted it 9 degrees to add a bit of whimsical."
  • ABSOLVE : 46
  • CONDEMN : 1
It's just a paycheck.
  • ABSOLVE : 50
  • CONDEMN : 4
Exclamation points are over-rated. My CD uses them like a whore turns tricks.
  • ABSOLVE : 38
  • CONDEMN : 4
Time Sheets: The most creative I get all week.
  • ABSOLVE : 42
  • CONDEMN : 1
Don't ever use the word "shenanigans" to describe an expensive TV production...It will piss off the client paying for it.
  • ABSOLVE : 11
  • CONDEMN : 0
AMC's "The Pitch" is everything that is wrong with our business. Companies making agencies pitch work on spec to win business and the agencies are willing to do it.
  • ABSOLVE : 17
  • CONDEMN : 3
When I say "Thank you!!", it's not a request. This is a nice way of saying "Do what I told you because its fuck or walk."
  • ABSOLVE : 34
  • CONDEMN : 58
As a copywriter, I regularly look up thesaurus entries for "engage" and "share."
  • ABSOLVE : 81
  • CONDEMN : 4
Saying "Thank you!!" at the time of requesting something from me assumes I'm going to automatically fulfill it. Just for that, I'm not going to. You're welcome.
  • ABSOLVE : 24
  • CONDEMN : 45
On Monday I received a work email that DIDN'T mention they hoped I'd had a good weekend. And now I've stormed off the project.
  • ABSOLVE : 16
  • CONDEMN : 53
Why is the ECD banging a CW and no one is questioning it? Oh, wait, that CW is now an ACD.
  • ABSOLVE : 34
  • CONDEMN : 9
A lot of these confessions could be avoided if people in this industry were able to communicate with each other.
  • ABSOLVE : 104
  • CONDEMN : 11
I'm working on making my out of office emails to include an audio file to reply to people sending me work to do while I'm away saying "I'm sorry (name) I'm afraid I can't do that." in the voice of HAL 9000.
  • ABSOLVE : 47
  • CONDEMN : 2
999+ unread emails and counting.
  • ABSOLVE : 64
  • CONDEMN : 7
I've quit my job and took a two week break from anything advertising related. I've finally found time to read, play and meet new, much more interesting people than those I've worked with.
  • ABSOLVE : 93
  • CONDEMN : 5
I just spent my afternoon looking out the window.
  • ABSOLVE : 101
  • CONDEMN : 1
I want to return my noise-cancelling headphone because I can still hear the stupid in the background.
  • ABSOLVE : 102
  • CONDEMN : 3
Now that my CD is sleeping with the VP of Marketing Director, she has been going on a power trip. Rarely is she even in the office. And when she's here, she's always on the phone, throwing around orders, or above everything else, doing anything but being the leader of a creative team!
  • ABSOLVE : 10
  • CONDEMN : 25
I'll admit it. I'm 40. I have no fucking idea what Dub Step is.
  • ABSOLVE : 107
  • CONDEMN : 14
I'm honestly annoyed that the media executive beat me to make out with the new copywriter. I had dibs on him.
  • ABSOLVE : 22
  • CONDEMN : 24
I find google to be a more reliable asset source than clients.
  • ABSOLVE : 92
  • CONDEMN : 2
I get briefed in at 5pm at least 3 times a week
  • ABSOLVE : 59
  • CONDEMN : 9
Just heard that a competing agency on this pitch suggested mostly print and direct mail for an amusement park account. Ha!
  • ABSOLVE : 43
  • CONDEMN : 4
Every time you use dub-step in your ad show-reel a baby giraffe gets skinned for a dictators floor. Just stop it. Dub-step has had it's 15 minutes. Move on.
  • ABSOLVE : 47
  • CONDEMN : 11
Dear copy slut, I will no longer say nice things when you give me your poorly thought out cluster of words to review. From now on I'm going straight to asshole. You'll have to learn CDs are dicks at some point and It may as well be from me.
  • ABSOLVE : 26
  • CONDEMN : 47
It even makes me angry when account people say "I like that!" because it insinuates that it would matter if they didn't like it.
  • ABSOLVE : 77
  • CONDEMN : 6
CCO, ECD, VPCD, GCD, CD, ACD – How many fucking creative directors does one person have to answer to?!?
  • ABSOLVE : 65
  • CONDEMN : 0
My web copy is being rewritten by an engineer. Pass the hemlock.
  • ABSOLVE : 66
  • CONDEMN : 6
Once again, I'm waiting for payment for an invoice I sent a month ago. Meanwhile, rent continues to build up and the landlord isn't happy with me. Screw freelancing, that's it, I'm out.
  • ABSOLVE : 69
  • CONDEMN : 3
Ergonomics tells me to sit up straight with my head held high. My meaningless 9-to-5 office job tells me otherwise.
  • ABSOLVE : 85
  • CONDEMN : 1
The highlight of my day is the price of my morning coffee: $4.20. The rest of my working day I am dead inside.
  • ABSOLVE : 39
  • CONDEMN : 2
Our paper rep is very attractive. I feign interest in coated metallic linens just so she'll stay longer.
  • ABSOLVE : 36
  • CONDEMN : 6
I just dropped a shit ton of meaningless internet buzzwords. Guilty.
  • ABSOLVE : 32
  • CONDEMN : 11
I am totally over your stupid mustache. And everything that has mustaches on it.
  • ABSOLVE : 91
  • CONDEMN : 4
I wish I worked copywriter hours. Fuck this shit.
  • ABSOLVE : 43
  • CONDEMN : 15
I had to explain to a Creative Director at a very large agency what a 'Like" was.
  • ABSOLVE : 53
  • CONDEMN : 11
Designspiration is only inspiration for people who want to make what everyone else is making.
  • ABSOLVE : 42
  • CONDEMN : 6
I will never again mention or discuss the "Got Milk?" campaign. Not even jokingly. Ever.
  • ABSOLVE : 42
  • CONDEMN : 1
Every time a creative confession gets condemned a AD forgets to hit save.
  • ABSOLVE : 14
  • CONDEMN : 39
WHAT THE FUCK?! OUR ECD IS TAKING ANOTHER WEEK OFF???!!! In case you didn't know dick neck, THERE'S A FUCKING PITCH GOING ON! ...and yes it's the same pissed off creative from before.
  • ABSOLVE : 43
  • CONDEMN : 4
If you had actually learned design, maybe you wouldn't panic so much when I ask you for things. It's not my fault you bill yourself as a designer. But, thanks to you, it's my problem.
  • ABSOLVE : 39
  • CONDEMN : 6
On the way home tonight I went past a fire engine heading in the direction I came from. I thought "Maybe... Just maybe. Hopefully."
  • ABSOLVE : 109
  • CONDEMN : 7
I loved this year's Shark Week commercial where the shark eats the seal. Hilarious.
  • ABSOLVE : 44
  • CONDEMN : 28
Just made ACD, but I don't feel like an asshole yet.
  • ABSOLVE : 49
  • CONDEMN : 5
I wish I was sober at work today.
  • ABSOLVE : 49
  • CONDEMN : 15
It's so gratifying to read an interview with a fellow creative director I freelanced with quote my work and take full credit for it. Fucking asshole.
  • ABSOLVE : 79
  • CONDEMN : 3
Most days I feel like I work at a Christopher Guest-style parody agency.
  • ABSOLVE : 38
  • CONDEMN : 1
While I dearly love some people here, I can honestly say I despise 97% of the people in this massive building.
  • ABSOLVE : 57
  • CONDEMN : 1
I came to work in my pajamas today. Nobody noticed.
  • ABSOLVE : 95
  • CONDEMN : 1
I miss retail. I'm not even joking.
  • ABSOLVE : 72
  • CONDEMN : 4
I am going to abandon my studio because I'm sick of being pidgeonholed into providing support to daft clients, dancing at the whim of my CD and writing technical documentation no one will ever read instead of working hard to expand my knowledge and skills. Time to quit and go solo. I might fail, but I can't do it any other way.
  • ABSOLVE : 57
  • CONDEMN : 1
I use vacation days to do freelance jobs, because my 50-hour a week full-time job barely pays enough to support my family.
  • ABSOLVE : 112
  • CONDEMN : 4
Yesterday, I sat through a meeting where an idiot coordinator kept going on and on about nothing. The only reason I didn't stop him was so I could bill the full hour.
  • ABSOLVE : 72
  • CONDEMN : 3
My co-worker can not stop using distressed type. It's 2013.
  • ABSOLVE : 39
  • CONDEMN : 3
Yesterday we had 2 creative heads. Today we have 1. The better man lost.
  • ABSOLVE : 33
  • CONDEMN : 12
My wife is a better designer then I am...and let's me know it on a regular basis.
  • ABSOLVE : 43
  • CONDEMN : 21
I need to stop offering my design services whilst drinking alcohol.
  • ABSOLVE : 75
  • CONDEMN : 3
I told my co-worker, I would not have sex with them in the bar bathroom.
  • ABSOLVE : 53
  • CONDEMN : 30
My CD is a passive aggressive, immature, indecisive, useless asshole who's on the brink of being fired. Knowing this place they'll probably make him CEO.
  • ABSOLVE : 61
  • CONDEMN : 5
If I could cash in all the "favors" or "solids" I've done for AEs/CDs/etc... I'd get the hell out of the business and move to Belize, never to be heard from again.
  • ABSOLVE : 62
  • CONDEMN : 2
Account Execs need to stop thinking they are the Gods of the agency.
  • ABSOLVE : 78
  • CONDEMN : 7
I spend at least 1-2 hours searching for the perfect music to jam to before I actually start working.
  • ABSOLVE : 109
  • CONDEMN : 8
I drunk-endorsed a bunch of my LinkedIn connections last night.
  • ABSOLVE : 110
  • CONDEMN : 8
By the way, that raise... never gonna happen.
  • ABSOLVE : 14
  • CONDEMN : 90
I'm not planning your brand strategy. I'm planning my holiday.
  • ABSOLVE : 81
  • CONDEMN : 2
The AD down the hall blasts his music on a daily basis, as if he's the only one here. But it's ok because it's usually Nickleback.
  • ABSOLVE : 8
  • CONDEMN : 94
The CD always gives a reason why he's going out for a bit. Maybe give a reason as to why your buttons aren't done up when you come back in.
  • ABSOLVE : 52
  • CONDEMN : 1
I give the new merger 3 months to start bleeding their best in class talent.
  • ABSOLVE : 25
  • CONDEMN : 3
our ECD goes on vacation every time we have a pitch.
  • ABSOLVE : 4
  • CONDEMN : 42
Freelancing is no way to go through life.
  • ABSOLVE : 58
  • CONDEMN : 21
i think my ulcer is developing an ulcer
  • ABSOLVE : 57
  • CONDEMN : 2
I have a skateboard bolted to the wall above my desk. I am 38.
  • ABSOLVE : 47
  • CONDEMN : 54
Now that "art & copy" has become "assets & content", I've kind of lost interest in this shit.
  • ABSOLVE : 151
  • CONDEMN : 5
I am seriously considering offering up my first born to get a certain Art Director to use Lorem Ipsum in her design instead of wasting time coming up with nonsensical copy.
  • ABSOLVE : 47
  • CONDEMN : 10
I've given up trying to teach my clients the difference between web graphics and print graphics. I'm blaming the printers for the visible pixels.
  • ABSOLVE : 60
  • CONDEMN : 16
I've often Tweeted on my agency's behalf while stoned off my balls. Those ALWAYS get far more RTs than the normal bullshit they make me force feed the Twitterverse. I secretly laugh when the obligatory atta-boy email comes whizzing in. In fact, I'm high while typing this.
  • ABSOLVE : 111
  • CONDEMN : 11
I'm spending my Saturday night photoshopping pictures for Facebook so I look skinnier, while eating a pint of ice-cream at the computer.
  • ABSOLVE : 63
  • CONDEMN : 40
I just started working at a "digital" agency. McDonald's has a better wi-fi connection than my office.
  • ABSOLVE : 88
  • CONDEMN : 6
what the fuck is a dieline?
  • ABSOLVE : 16
  • CONDEMN : 133
Give me parallax or give me death!
  • ABSOLVE : 21
  • CONDEMN : 49
I always leave the recipient blank until the very end whenever I email someone because I'm terrified of accidentally hitting "send" when I'm not ready.
  • ABSOLVE : 201
  • CONDEMN : 3
Sometimes, when feeling risky, I'll send a file to print that's on the server.
  • ABSOLVE : 31
  • CONDEMN : 4
I think Macs are over priced, poorly designed pieces of shit, but I'm too afraid to let my hipster coworkers know.
  • ABSOLVE : 100
  • CONDEMN : 117
I complete more than 50% of my freelance work in the nude.
  • ABSOLVE : 153
  • CONDEMN : 3
I often commit to projects I don't have time for, just because I don't think any of the other designers would do as good of a job.
  • ABSOLVE : 105
  • CONDEMN : 26
I think CDs who walk around the office barefoot are tools. I am not your in home and feet in general are really gross to look at.
  • ABSOLVE : 70
  • CONDEMN : 14
I'm one of the people who write SEO content for banks. I need a hug,
  • ABSOLVE : 119
  • CONDEMN : 3
I don't want the cheese anymore. I just want out of the trap.
  • ABSOLVE : 95
  • CONDEMN : 1
I charge people for free stock photos I find online.
  • ABSOLVE : 105
  • CONDEMN : 53
After 17 years in the business, I find most suits today to be naive, incompetent, and disrespectful. Want to quit writing. I'd rather pump gas.
  • ABSOLVE : 68
  • CONDEMN : 2
When did Project Managers start to think they were God and an ECD at the same time?
  • ABSOLVE : 40
  • CONDEMN : 4
I love being an art director. I also love the drama that comes with it.
  • ABSOLVE : 35
  • CONDEMN : 35
I do too much coke.
  • ABSOLVE : 52
  • CONDEMN : 72
I mooch.
  • ABSOLVE : 8
  • CONDEMN : 56
Sometimes I'm a Hovering Art Director but I'm not the Art Director. I'm not even a designer. I'm a planner.
  • ABSOLVE : 7
  • CONDEMN : 100
I've spent 2 days writing copy for a grumpy cat meme. For a client...
  • ABSOLVE : 83
  • CONDEMN : 18
That moment when you look at your agency's newly updated website and realize you work for the company that makes the tv spots you can't stand.
  • ABSOLVE : 99
  • CONDEMN : 0
If I hear one more person sing "Dumb Ways to Die," I'll make sure they won't be able to sing it anymore.
  • ABSOLVE : 67
  • CONDEMN : 4
Agency creative recruiters are nothing more than bags of shit.
  • ABSOLVE : 69
  • CONDEMN : 9
I miss the show "Trust Me."
  • ABSOLVE : 24
  • CONDEMN : 3
My boss forgot it was my birthday for the third year in a row. We're a team of two. I made sure that the next book we published was littered with proofreading errors. He fired the proofreader.
  • ABSOLVE : 13
  • CONDEMN : 112
The reason why there are so many Mormons in advertising is because they're already primed to believe and spread bullshit.
  • ABSOLVE : 88
  • CONDEMN : 14
I'm about to make a lot of money for an APP concept I replicated from another industry.
  • ABSOLVE : 21
  • CONDEMN : 24
Mr. Micro Manager, meet Ms. Passive Aggressive.
  • ABSOLVE : 90
  • CONDEMN : 5
I once designed an album cover in Microsoft Excel.
  • ABSOLVE : 75
  • CONDEMN : 39
Most ideas that aren't mine are so-so. My ideas are usually superior. I want only my ideas to win. I want all other ideas to lose.
  • ABSOLVE : 40
  • CONDEMN : 77
Don't critique my copy if you can't write a coherent email.
  • ABSOLVE : 165
  • CONDEMN : 3
Dear "creative" posers- Boulder is just a place. Austin and Brooklyn are just places. Cool people live everywhere, so take off your Wayfarers and look around. Your namedropping gives you away- you are trying way too hard.
  • ABSOLVE : 140
  • CONDEMN : 5
please make an option for the sake of an option!
  • ABSOLVE : 51
  • CONDEMN : 5
No I do not have any "bandwidth" seeing as I'm not a fucking wireless router.
  • ABSOLVE : 124
  • CONDEMN : 3
We have a CD who takes sick pleasure in calling everyone, while they're on their vacation, with petty BS work related issues.
  • ABSOLVE : 9
  • CONDEMN : 44
Thanks to the "Star Wars" Confessor below I can't stop imagining myself as Lando. (Me) "You said the mockups were due Friday, that was the deadline!" (Client) "I am altering the deadline, pray I do not alter it further."
  • ABSOLVE : 45
  • CONDEMN : 3
I absolutely loath the current Pier 1 campaign.
  • ABSOLVE : 31
  • CONDEMN : 3
I'm just here for the chicks.
  • ABSOLVE : 41
  • CONDEMN : 23
Every time I look at my boss, I imagine him twerking on his desk like a fat hoe. It somehow gets me through the day.
  • ABSOLVE : 65
  • CONDEMN : 4
When my CD starts out explaining his idea with, "Maybe.. Maybe it's just a..." I tune the fuck out.
  • ABSOLVE : 26
  • CONDEMN : 12
The next time our admin sets out a tin of cookies and they're G**damn Chips Ahoy, I'm gonna throw the whole tin in her face.
  • ABSOLVE : 25
  • CONDEMN : 56
If you don't read, don't ask me to call you a writer.
  • ABSOLVE : 83
  • CONDEMN : 7
I am knowingly about to send and email with a typo in it to 30,000+ people, mostly because the CFO has offered his prized "proofreading expertise" so much this week.
  • ABSOLVE : 79
  • CONDEMN : 4
It's Friday, I just want to dance on top of my desk.
  • ABSOLVE : 39
  • CONDEMN : 6
I wish there wasn't enough money in the budget for a company picnic this year. Or ever.
  • ABSOLVE : 98
  • CONDEMN : 7
Friday night drinks and only light beer in the fridge... this could be the last straw.
  • ABSOLVE : 30
  • CONDEMN : 11
Thinking about taking a new job just for more money, even though I know I will not be creatively challenged or satisfied.
  • ABSOLVE : 80
  • CONDEMN : 17
"iOS 7: Designed in California, inspired by Lisa Frank"
  • ABSOLVE : 73
  • CONDEMN : 5
To keep life more exciting I refer to our Agency as "The Rebel Alliance", and the VP of our Client as "Emperor Palpatine". I never had to explain to my co-workers who "Emperor Palpatine" is, they just knew.
  • ABSOLVE : 44
  • CONDEMN : 2
I`m a student in web design and the job waiting for me after graduation has nothing to do with my degree at all.
  • ABSOLVE : 52
  • CONDEMN : 3
I have a spreadsheet with all my clients name and what antidepressant I think they are on. I go from Marijuana to Cymbalta. The things you learn when you work for big pharma!!
  • ABSOLVE : 33
  • CONDEMN : 3
I've spent the last 2 hours listening to Pink Floyd and slowly zooming in and out of high resolution assets.
  • ABSOLVE : 81
  • CONDEMN : 2
My agency CEO reneged on all my creative teams' comp time and Summer Fridays, even some of their earned vaca, then had me take the bullet for it. On my way out, I regret immediately not calling up their biggest client and telling them how the agency was doing creative for their largest competitor... at the direction of the CEO.
  • ABSOLVE : 45
  • CONDEMN : 4
Hunting for the perfect stock photography has become the worst part of my day.
  • ABSOLVE : 104
  • CONDEMN : 2
I did a phone interview for the new job at my old job...
  • ABSOLVE : 114
  • CONDEMN : 4
Bank of American has better lifestyle photography than the fashion accessory brand I work on.
  • ABSOLVE : 30
  • CONDEMN : 13
The new iOS looks like it was done by a student who just discovered the gradient tool, the new Mac Pro looks like a waste basket, and the thing that pisses me off is that the mindless Apple whores will still find a way to claim that they are revolutionary steps in design.
  • ABSOLVE : 63
  • CONDEMN : 28
I don't care anymore. It's getting harder and harder to get out of bed each day.
  • ABSOLVE : 129
  • CONDEMN : 2
Today I realized I yanked a headline directly from a Johnny Cash song. Does that make me a hack?
  • ABSOLVE : 60
  • CONDEMN : 21
Question: What would happen to the industry if a bomb went off over Cannes during the Lions festival and took out all the agency bigwigs/ceos/etc? Answer: Nothing (clients should think about this...)
  • ABSOLVE : 54
  • CONDEMN : 3
The D in AD stands for DIRECTOR not DESIGNER.
  • ABSOLVE : 35
  • CONDEMN : 54
The more I dislike a coworker, the nicer I am to them. It's overcompensating, and possibly apparent, but I can't stop.
  • ABSOLVE : 52
  • CONDEMN : 4
I hate having to drop doing nothing to do something for someone.
  • ABSOLVE : 118
  • CONDEMN : 4
I just wrote a headline with the phrase "out of pocket." Boom.
  • ABSOLVE : 25
  • CONDEMN : 9
Say "yeah no" again. Please. Every sentence isn't enough.
  • ABSOLVE : 40
  • CONDEMN : 1
A new agency is hiring a "Communication Jedi", as a unpaid intern. These are the kind of people that are in our industry.
  • ABSOLVE : 78
  • CONDEMN : 8
To Whom it May Concern, It's really difficult to take your fucking feedback seriously when every other word is spelled incorrectly and you use a double (sometimes triple) space after every sentence.
  • ABSOLVE : 71
  • CONDEMN : 0
I don't care if you did get to work on a Super Bowl commercial. Doing a spot where someone takes it in the nuts is the broadcast equivalent of Papyrus.
  • ABSOLVE : 105
  • CONDEMN : 1
Everyone in my office just had rousing discussion doling out the virtues of Bank of America. Fucking capitalists.
  • ABSOLVE : 29
  • CONDEMN : 19
I've come up with my own acronym to shoot back at accounts people who use ASAP as a delivery date: ASAWC (As Soon As We Can) Apply freely to burned area.
  • ABSOLVE : 87
  • CONDEMN : 1
There are no more "Rock Stars" in the creative industry, so stop trying to hire them through job ads.
  • ABSOLVE : 87
  • CONDEMN : 0
I love down time....rarely seen yet greatly appreciated.
  • ABSOLVE : 41
  • CONDEMN : 3
My boss is real chipper with everyone in the morning except me.
  • ABSOLVE : 32
  • CONDEMN : 4
Just when I think QR codes have finally died, there is one on my BANANA this morning. WTF.
  • ABSOLVE : 67
  • CONDEMN : 2
My agency can't hire juniors because it's corporate policy to pay overtime at that level.
  • ABSOLVE : 8
  • CONDEMN : 23
Season Two of The Pitch. Because Season One gave us such brilliant insights into the business that we're all clamoring for more. Pass the hemlock, please.
  • ABSOLVE : 29
  • CONDEMN : 1
No, I will not eat communal office food. I'll say I'm on a diet but really I'm just too grossed out by my sloppy, redneck coworkers to trust their kitchens. I don't need cake that badly.
  • ABSOLVE : 50
  • CONDEMN : 5
A thesaurus makes my target demographics seem more thought out.
  • ABSOLVE : 34
  • CONDEMN : 0
It took me nearly ten years to recognize, but the fact is the personalities of most of the people working in creative departments in pharma advertising resemble that of the comic book store guy from "The Simpsons"
  • ABSOLVE : 33
  • CONDEMN : 1
The worse I treat a client, basically jeopardizing the client relationship, the more attached they become. It's pathetic.
  • ABSOLVE : 28
  • CONDEMN : 6
I never started achieving success in advertising until the day I stopped listening to do-nothing headhunters who, for over a decade, only told me I wasn't good enough. Serves me right for letting people who never created an ad in their lives determine my career destiny.
  • ABSOLVE : 44
  • CONDEMN : 2
"I don't understand why we're not attracting a younger demo," said the 70-year-old marketing director who refuses to accept any ideas other than his own.
  • ABSOLVE : 88
  • CONDEMN : 0
I only come here for the air conditioning
  • ABSOLVE : 60
  • CONDEMN : 1
I hate Cannes Festival. It's not about ideas anymore, now it's about showing off and money... a lot of money.
  • ABSOLVE : 33
  • CONDEMN : 1
Enough with babies talking like adults in TV spots. Seriously, knock it off.
  • ABSOLVE : 114
  • CONDEMN : 0
Sorry, we're all out of that font in your point size.
  • ABSOLVE : 68
  • CONDEMN : 3
I've just discovered that the Behance network is the "Better Homes & Gardens" of creative work.
  • ABSOLVE : 40
  • CONDEMN : 2
Cannes Cannes blah blah Palais de Festival Carlton Hotel Rose party swimming pool yacht beach cabin fuck you what do you all really do to deserve hundreds of thousands of dollars spent getting wasted and bragging about it on Facebook for the next five days?!!
  • ABSOLVE : 40
  • CONDEMN : 0
I have no sympathy for account people who invite you to lunch for the first time in a year and then reveal to you that they want to become a creative.
  • ABSOLVE : 42
  • CONDEMN : 4
Healthy debate is now interpreted as defensiveness.
  • ABSOLVE : 45
  • CONDEMN : 4
Things that piss me off list: #1 When designers speak another language other than English to me when they explain their work. Thank you H-1B visas.
  • ABSOLVE : 23
  • CONDEMN : 70
A junior digital designer just said to me, "I don't use Photoshop because it's hard to get things pixel-perfect."
  • ABSOLVE : 11
  • CONDEMN : 82
There is nothing more telling, or more depressing, about the future of a creative in advertising than seeing a grown forty-something man attempt to stay current by using the phrase "amaze-balls."
  • ABSOLVE : 75
  • CONDEMN : 7
I hate the people in advertising who go on this site to anonymously complain about other people who do the same shit job as them....wait....ohhhh
  • ABSOLVE : 38
  • CONDEMN : 4
$300 Bose noise cancelling headphones may make me look like some yuppie Corporate Charlie but I can't hear shit except my music. It's a beautiful thing.
  • ABSOLVE : 45
  • CONDEMN : 1
I'm a CD. I'm first in the office and last to go. I think I'm doing something wrong.
  • ABSOLVE : 62
  • CONDEMN : 7
"my only concern is...."
  • ABSOLVE : 48
  • CONDEMN : 6
Getting real tired of digital pricks who think they own some kind of proprietary secret sauce. It's just another channel dickheads. Now go learn how to come up with an actual concept.
  • ABSOLVE : 74
  • CONDEMN : 8
BBH Playstation? Really? Sad sad sad. Was hoping for something cool. Should have known better.
  • ABSOLVE : 5
  • CONDEMN : 5
Fuck headhunters.
  • ABSOLVE : 57
  • CONDEMN : 0
I bring my notebook to meetings and doodle so it looks like I care.
  • ABSOLVE : 54
  • CONDEMN : 0
I have come to the realization that people in advertising like to think of themselves as people who help other people, but in fact people in advertising are people who only like to help themselves
  • ABSOLVE : 46
  • CONDEMN : 2
The fast food client asks me to make the food look more sexy on their site... I think to myself that maybe placing some lingerie on each piece of food on the plate might suffice. Instead I make the plate and food larger. Client thinks I'm a genius.
  • ABSOLVE : 51
  • CONDEMN : 1
I've begun taking a secret drink at my desk every time I overhear or read the phrase "Look and Feel"
  • ABSOLVE : 49
  • CONDEMN : 2
After 109284 revisions, my CD: "It'll do." ADJFGSKLDFJGSKLDFJGSKLDFJGKLSDJFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • ABSOLVE : 18
  • CONDEMN : 1
Most days in the office, I'll have a creative nap.
  • ABSOLVE : 45
  • CONDEMN : 2
Oh, your chief medical officer has some thoughts on creative? Cool, I have some thoughts on ocular surgery.
  • ABSOLVE : 146
  • CONDEMN : 1
If only "Because I'm not in the mood" was a good enough excuse.
  • ABSOLVE : 45
  • CONDEMN : 0
An AE just asked me source and design a "physical packaging mechanism". I thought, "do you mean a fucking cardboard box?"
  • ABSOLVE : 60
  • CONDEMN : 1
I felt more appreciated as an intern.
  • ABSOLVE : 48
  • CONDEMN : 1
I think JLo is gorgeous and all but now she has "JLo's Viva Movil" Stores to hock VZ merchandise? C'mon Verizon.
  • ABSOLVE : 2
  • CONDEMN : 1
Why are creatives treated as disposable when every idiot in account service who can only do what someone else tells them to gets promoted and paid a lot of f-ing money? I should stop being an art director and become one of those trained monkeys who say "yes" all day.
  • ABSOLVE : 94
  • CONDEMN : 2
It's a slow day.
  • ABSOLVE : 10
  • CONDEMN : 0
I purposely submit shitty first drafts, just to be sure I set the bar low.
  • ABSOLVE : 97
  • CONDEMN : 14
If I hear the words 'call to action' one more time, I may puke.
  • ABSOLVE : 83
  • CONDEMN : 7
I'm waiting for Dish Network's agency to finally go over the edge and hire Arnold Schwarzenegger to look in the camera and yell "GET TO THE HOPPAH!" Sweet fuck, I hate... HATE... those ads!
  • ABSOLVE : 27
  • CONDEMN : 4
Art school has killed my creativity.
  • ABSOLVE : 27
  • CONDEMN : 10
Need to giggle today? Read this. Hot off the press from abcnews! "A job in advertising or marketing, which does not require a post-graduate degree, was the career with the least amount of time to repay student debt. Assuming that 10 percent of one's salary goes toward repaying school loans, a median salary of $107,950, a total higher education cost of $52,596 (tuition, fees, room and board) and a 6 percent student loan interest rate, it would take 5.83 years to repay student debt." Just copy paste this and read now! It's amazing! http://abcnews.go.com/Business/top-20-college-degrees-best-worst/story?id=19364365#A
  • ABSOLVE : 7
  • CONDEMN : 18
I've been out of agency life and freelancing full time for 4 months now and reading these confessions still gives me anxiety that I experienced working in the agency.
  • ABSOLVE : 43
  • CONDEMN : 0
They should change the name from 'Break Room' to 'Breakdown Room.'
  • ABSOLVE : 41
  • CONDEMN : 1
I spend most of my time writing bullshit justifications for ideas I thought of in the shower.
  • ABSOLVE : 40
  • CONDEMN : 4
I get a thrill every time my old boss publishes something in ad websites and it gets ripped apart by random people online.
  • ABSOLVE : 47
  • CONDEMN : 3
Ok too-cool-for-school, rapidly-aging, posing hipster over-the-hill Art Director...we all get that you race motorcycles on the weekends, we all have our passions, but could you stop posting your Facebook status update pictures long enough to actually get some real work done...news flash, it's Monday. It's back to work
  • ABSOLVE : 24
  • CONDEMN : 4
I hate everyone of you who complain about working in advertising. If its that bad quit and make room for the younger crowd.
  • ABSOLVE : 46
  • CONDEMN : 49
It’s my first day back from maternity leave and I’m already reading creative confessionals.
  • ABSOLVE : 43
  • CONDEMN : 4
Clients who supply 100 pages of body copy with a double space at the start of every sentence should have their fucking hands cut off.
  • ABSOLVE : 59
  • CONDEMN : 7
I make the interns go to the store and supply me with a specific color of ultra fine point Sharpies.
  • ABSOLVE : 28
  • CONDEMN : 24
I know youre my CD, but showing up at 11 and leaving at 3 on friday, then working from home on monday doesnt make me want to get my work to you any faster. or at all.
  • ABSOLVE : 65
  • CONDEMN : 1
"zoom in and zoom out" is how i manage my fridays.
  • ABSOLVE : 38
  • CONDEMN : 3
I am a woman in advertising and I refuse to read "lean in"
  • ABSOLVE : 45
  • CONDEMN : 7
Hey intern: it's great that you still have the ambition to change the world of advertising, but I just need you to change the batteries in my Magic Mouse for now.
  • ABSOLVE : 42
  • CONDEMN : 45
Forgive me father for I have DIN'd
  • ABSOLVE : 23
  • CONDEMN : 1
I can't today.
  • ABSOLVE : 109
  • CONDEMN : 0
The more you bug me about a project, the longer it will take.
  • ABSOLVE : 78
  • CONDEMN : 2
Because I'm the fucking Creative Director and you're the no-talent, hack graphic artist, that's why!
  • ABSOLVE : 9
  • CONDEMN : 81
I secretly hate this ACD (who can do no wrong) who gets to float from account to account while the work is good, take credit for it, and then mysteriously float on when the work gets heavy or stale.
  • ABSOLVE : 35
  • CONDEMN : 2
To break up the monotony, I randomly put photos of Tom Hardy in my image directories. Every time I come across one, I smile and say, thanks me.
  • ABSOLVE : 41
  • CONDEMN : 2
I've been stealing 1 box of Sharpies a week for 2 years from the agency supply room.
  • ABSOLVE : 60
  • CONDEMN : 18
I want to find every founder of every social media channel and shoot them in the head....
  • ABSOLVE : 25
  • CONDEMN : 1
I will say, "let's get together in Cannes" in an email, but I don't really mean it.
  • ABSOLVE : 9
  • CONDEMN : 30
Butts are intuitive. Every time our social media person comes near my desk, I have to fart.
  • ABSOLVE : 41
  • CONDEMN : 8
FACT: Most creatives were fucking losers in high school.
  • ABSOLVE : 42
  • CONDEMN : 111
Most days, I honestly can't tell if I'm suffering from all-consuming fatigue or if I'm just lazy as shit.
  • ABSOLVE : 108
  • CONDEMN : 1
Today, for the first time in months, I walked into work feeling good, not having any panic attacks, and nothing to complain about. Something is seriously wrong with me.
  • ABSOLVE : 32
  • CONDEMN : 1
Boss being out all day = Applying for jobs all day.
  • ABSOLVE : 79
  • CONDEMN : 4
i really need to do something about my daily 8:30am bomb the work bathroom routine.
  • ABSOLVE : 28
  • CONDEMN : 11
I just received this email "I know this can't be done, but can you do it?" I don't even know how to react.
  • ABSOLVE : 44
  • CONDEMN : 1
Everytime I listen to my CD's ideas, my brain gets constipated.
  • ABSOLVE : 34
  • CONDEMN : 1
AE's trying to use Reddit. #Sad
  • ABSOLVE : 20
  • CONDEMN : 8
It's getting hard to remember the last time my boss paid me on time.
  • ABSOLVE : 9
  • CONDEMN : 25
I give myself paper cuts to relieve stress from my job.
  • ABSOLVE : 15
  • CONDEMN : 52
It's only Friday night and I'm already depressed about Monday.
  • ABSOLVE : 74
  • CONDEMN : 2
Ok, I'm 14 years late to the party on this but I just discovered "Front Magazine" . . . . . BOING!!!!!
  • ABSOLVE : 24
  • CONDEMN : 6
I actually do have the bandwidth and that's just Netflix. I'm only staying late tonight because free P.F. Chang's sounded better than my wife's pilaf.
  • ABSOLVE : 29
  • CONDEMN : 14
I love being debriefed.
  • ABSOLVE : 18
  • CONDEMN : 13
The one thing I've learned from reading this site over the last few months is, if I had to do it over again- Marry Rich!!!
  • ABSOLVE : 36
  • CONDEMN : 4
Our agency arranged hookers for the client on the palm.
  • ABSOLVE : 18
  • CONDEMN : 32
Pharma advertising: A bunch of CPG agency rejects having a nonstop contest on who can use longer words.
  • ABSOLVE : 18
  • CONDEMN : 5
What's that? The new client's project is critically important and he needs to see progress ASAP? Okay, he can get in queue behind the three other clients' "critically important" projects we already have in the works.
  • ABSOLVE : 70
  • CONDEMN : 2
I'm not very good at giving constructive criticism, but I am good at giving critisium.
  • ABSOLVE : 18
  • CONDEMN : 15
"Y'know what would also be cool..." Words to die by.
  • ABSOLVE : 56
  • CONDEMN : 4
Coding is relative. Did I finish the project? No. Did I work on it? Yea sure.
  • ABSOLVE : 19
  • CONDEMN : 3
I've spent all day writing one tweet.
  • ABSOLVE : 42
  • CONDEMN : 18
I wish my coworkers wouldn't eat stuff that makes the office smell like putrid cat food.
  • ABSOLVE : 25
  • CONDEMN : 1
I'm too lazy to unsubscribe from the QuarkXPress eNewsletter.
  • ABSOLVE : 27
  • CONDEMN : 9
I guess I missed the staff meeting where all AE's were instructed to use "ASAP" as a deadline on every work order placed in the creative dept. Place gun in mouth now!
  • ABSOLVE : 50
  • CONDEMN : 4
Every time I get asked to make a fillable PDFs, I look for a new job instead.
  • ABSOLVE : 41
  • CONDEMN : 1
I will condemn the TV show, "The Pitch," in public. And you bet yor ass I will watch every minute of it in private.
  • ABSOLVE : 37
  • CONDEMN : 10
The day I first-handedly watch the creative team here "brain storm" by going through things on Google (and then following through with, and executing another ad's idea with only a minor change) was the day I realized I hate it here. Inspiration is one thing, but this was just too much.
  • ABSOLVE : 18
  • CONDEMN : 3
I quit advertising and went into politics, I figure, why deal with the middlemen amateurs when I am smart enough to play in the NFL
  • ABSOLVE : 30
  • CONDEMN : 3
'The Pitch' is returning for a second season... I wish this was a joke.
  • ABSOLVE : 24
  • CONDEMN : 4
I fantasize about fucking 70% of my female co-workers so much, that I purposely lock out their accounts so I can go over and create a new fantasy. - I.T. guy
  • ABSOLVE : 25
  • CONDEMN : 84
The first day in our new office, I illegally downloaded 3 GB of music using our server. The Internet has experienced daily brownouts since, and I'm the first to complain to my boss about it.
  • ABSOLVE : 17
  • CONDEMN : 32
I hand out so many pills at work. Suck on that Duane Reade.
  • ABSOLVE : 16
  • CONDEMN : 9
One day, I wished someone I know would die so that I could miss a workday. I feel horrible for it and I think I seriously need to quit this job.
  • ABSOLVE : 40
  • CONDEMN : 20
Thank God I got the willpower to ignore the numerous sexual "tease" from a very... very... hot accounts executive... especially when we are both alone in a hotel room (we have a client event at the hotel). This happened at least 3 times already. I am happily married by the way.
  • ABSOLVE : 35
  • CONDEMN : 15
To the copywriter who wrote KFC's "I ate the bones" I've got another bone you can eat.
  • ABSOLVE : 85
  • CONDEMN : 11
If the Internet at this place isn't getting fixed any time soon, I am going to quit.
  • ABSOLVE : 36
  • CONDEMN : 1
I can grab onto the balls of a mountain goat. I drink chilled bison piss and eat caterpillar nipples for breakfast. No, it doesn't make any sense to me either, but somehow I wrote it once. I love advertising. I am unemployable anywhere else.
  • ABSOLVE : 35
  • CONDEMN : 8
That guy who gets huffy and corrects people about the pronunciation of "GIF" yeah, that's me.
  • ABSOLVE : 12
  • CONDEMN : 81
I quit the creative field to work very dangerous 16 hour shifts covered in mud and soot. I have no insurance, no weekends, little sleep, and most days no lunch break. I have never been happier.
  • ABSOLVE : 71
  • CONDEMN : 5
Is it just me or is it a little too early for JC Penny to thank their customers for "coming back"? One little lame we're sorry TV spot won't cut it. Nice try Y&R but you can't polish that turd.
  • ABSOLVE : 38
  • CONDEMN : 1
If Buzzfeed ever opens up a branch in Chicago, I will be the first to apply.
  • ABSOLVE : 30
  • CONDEMN : 3
Please keep your cries, sighs and complaints to yourself. I just started here for god's sake.
  • ABSOLVE : 28
  • CONDEMN : 24
I increased my salary 600% in 5 years by changing jobs 5 times. Loyalty has no place in this industry.
  • ABSOLVE : 131
  • CONDEMN : 4
I'm not wearing earplugs because the printers are loud; I'm wearing earplugs because you're annoying and seem to think it's necessary to speak at elephant-like decibels so early in the morning.
  • ABSOLVE : 47
  • CONDEMN : 0
I'll be dancing on the grave of the client who asked for a word template design.
  • ABSOLVE : 59
  • CONDEMN : 3
Once, after a bad review at my new job, I considered jumping off the roof. But then I realized that my boss at the time looked like Judd Nelson from The Breakfast Club.
  • ABSOLVE : 22
  • CONDEMN : 0
Bed Bath & Beyond: Why don't you stop with the fucking coupons already and just lower all your prices by 20%?
  • ABSOLVE : 74
  • CONDEMN : 3
If this career is my way of paying off karmic debt, I must've been Mussolini.
  • ABSOLVE : 31
  • CONDEMN : 1
I honestly feel that if I was Asian, regardless of my work ethic or portfolio, I would have had an easier time finding a job, and would be paid more.
  • ABSOLVE : 31
  • CONDEMN : 30
On a particularly slow day, I spent 8 hours reading about the history of UFO sightings on wikipedia.
  • ABSOLVE : 56
  • CONDEMN : 2
I had to take a trip to the middle of nowhere for work. 3 days with my drunk office manager, 6 hours non stop in a car listening to her stories. No extra spending money or time. A few weeks later she was doing payroll drunk and paid me twice... I said nothing.
  • ABSOLVE : 56
  • CONDEMN : 2
I am in the process of fucking up an important job and I'm freaking out and tempted to destroy my laptop and just run away and hide.
  • ABSOLVE : 52
  • CONDEMN : 1
I'm likely going to spend the rest of the week working very late, work through the holiday weekend, and on Tuesday I'll have to get up at 5AM to catch a train into the city to make it to a 8AM meeting. All because the PM can't say "no" to a single client request, no matter how ludicrous it is.
  • ABSOLVE : 35
  • CONDEMN : 0
First day back from vacation and I can already taste the gun barrel in my mouth.
  • ABSOLVE : 85
  • CONDEMN : 2
An Account Exec asked for a creative explore on lines our Group Creative Director had already approved, including an example he'd written himself in the email. What he forgot to include in his email was account feedback. We popped his lines into a layout and sent it through, crediting him.
  • ABSOLVE : 4
  • CONDEMN : 1
Don't be fucking lazy. Stop using only the first letter of my name to address me in an email.
  • ABSOLVE : 31
  • CONDEMN : 13
Creative people, actually all people, the best advice I can give you is to marry rich.
  • ABSOLVE : 20
  • CONDEMN : 2
I like the new Oreo jingle.
  • ABSOLVE : 22
  • CONDEMN : 13
I'm seriously considering spiking my coffee to get through the day.
  • ABSOLVE : 57
  • CONDEMN : 3
Anyone who's said the "experience" is worth more then the money, obviously isn't poor.
  • ABSOLVE : 33
  • CONDEMN : 3
I have no problem sending radio copy to be produced for free at a radio station, giving those people hell so they get it right, and then charging the client full studio price for the work I didn't have to pay for.
  • ABSOLVE : 5
  • CONDEMN : 20
I need coffee... I don't like coffee.
  • ABSOLVE : 53
  • CONDEMN : 6
You get what you pay for, which is why I'm surfing the web.
  • ABSOLVE : 113
  • CONDEMN : 5
my partner and i are the only black Creative team in the agency and i purposely bang loud rap music early in the morning to make white people uncomfortable. it works beautifully.
  • ABSOLVE : 130
  • CONDEMN : 28
After reading many of these posts, I've realized I don't need a new job, I need a new career. I just wish it wouldn't have taken me 22 years to figure that out.
  • ABSOLVE : 28
  • CONDEMN : 0
I'm job searching during meetings now. My level of "don't give a fuck" has reached Def-con 1.
  • ABSOLVE : 45
  • CONDEMN : 0
The the worst part about being an art director is having to comp up another AD's work.
  • ABSOLVE : 8
  • CONDEMN : 1
This one time...at work....I saw the sun when I left to go home.
  • ABSOLVE : 101
  • CONDEMN : 6
The day I was going to give my 2 weeks notice, the entire art department got laid off. Everyone was crying but me. One month's severance! WoooHoooo!!!!
  • ABSOLVE : 84
  • CONDEMN : 4
I'm quitting my office job to work as a substitute teacher. The pay is better, and I'd rather spend my days with a bunch of adolescents than adults who act and write like them.
  • ABSOLVE : 22
  • CONDEMN : 1
I have no interest in listening to the new Daft Punk album.
  • ABSOLVE : 81
  • CONDEMN : 38
You guys cry at your desk? Well, I have a designated crying room. It's really the spray mount/archive room. It has a nice little step ladder where I can sit and cry in peace without any judgement from my peers. Except they all know about it. And I hope they use it too.
  • ABSOLVE : 16
  • CONDEMN : 0
I'm "working from home" today. Aka: I'm watching the Xbox Reveal and I have a phone interview.
  • ABSOLVE : 60
  • CONDEMN : 1
I HATE crowdsourcing sites.
  • ABSOLVE : 21
  • CONDEMN : 0
I was about to quit, but then my CD got fired. Now I'm staying.
  • ABSOLVE : 75
  • CONDEMN : 2
I ignored the PM's multiple calls and texts needing urgent attention "ASAP." She goddamn knew it was the day-off I've told her about for a week.
  • ABSOLVE : 72
  • CONDEMN : 2
I have so much other shit i should be doing but instead I'm Photoshopping a beard on my friends Facebook photo. I do what I want.
  • ABSOLVE : 59
  • CONDEMN : 7
Dear Kyle, Don't have conference calls in your cube it's really fucking annoying, thats what the meeting rooms are for. I hope we can still be friends. Sincerely, Cody
  • ABSOLVE : 33
  • CONDEMN : 2
I get paid $70K a year to cry in my office and occasionally answer emails. I'm not even 25.
  • ABSOLVE : 27
  • CONDEMN : 115
i have seen commercials, no one here deserves absolution
  • ABSOLVE : 66
  • CONDEMN : 4
There IS such a thing as a bad idea.
  • ABSOLVE : 92
  • CONDEMN : 1
My Creative Director just walked past while I was on here ranting about how much of a dick he is. I feel like a kid that just got caught jerking off.
  • ABSOLVE : 58
  • CONDEMN : 3
I think I may have Stockholm syndrome.
  • ABSOLVE : 58
  • CONDEMN : 5
I friendzoned my art director by telling her it's going to affect our work, but actually she's just too curvy for my taste.
  • ABSOLVE : 36
  • CONDEMN : 55
I often throw away worksheets that I have my students do on days I am too tired to teach.
  • ABSOLVE : 6
  • CONDEMN : 47
It was me that inserted a rude rhyme in white text into the pdf document which you copied and pasted into Powerpoint. I know you were pressed for time but it is always best to proof read a presentation before showing to the board. I would also prefer it if you didn't cause me to laugh quite so uncontrollably during important meetings in the future.
  • ABSOLVE : 41
  • CONDEMN : 6
Since leaving the agency, I like to come back here to fantasize that half these miserable posts could be from my ex-CD. Sadly, most posts here have way too much "concept" for me to believe him to be the author.
  • ABSOLVE : 23
  • CONDEMN : 1
Creative is so slow that most days I'm a glorified secretary.
  • ABSOLVE : 30
  • CONDEMN : 8
I've been tasked the duty of photo retouching a bunch of pictures of Eva Mendes, and let me tell you I've had a boner for at least 4 straight hours now.
  • ABSOLVE : 59
  • CONDEMN : 2
Being a minority has its benefits in this industry.
  • ABSOLVE : 20
  • CONDEMN : 39
i almost closed out of spotify when the lowes commercial for a grill came on. please. do not make more of those terrible spots.
  • ABSOLVE : 29
  • CONDEMN : 2
I ran late for a meeting in my office but did not call the client. Client ran even later, calling me to excuse herself for being late. Man, I love life!
  • ABSOLVE : 38
  • CONDEMN : 0
I have a Roy... And a Jim.
  • ABSOLVE : 11
  • CONDEMN : 14
I hate making everything into an infographic.
  • ABSOLVE : 48
  • CONDEMN : 4
It's so much harder to fake tragically hip than to actually be it.
  • ABSOLVE : 9
  • CONDEMN : 8
I'm in love with the models from Snorg Tees.
  • ABSOLVE : 39
  • CONDEMN : 7
I'm jealous of the person who has the luxury of crying at their desk.
  • ABSOLVE : 53
  • CONDEMN : 1
This agency is the loneliest place in the world.
  • ABSOLVE : 40
  • CONDEMN : 4
I think agencies should adopt the Moneyball philosophy to finding creatives. Forget the award winners. Look for creatives with killer ideas that died in focus groups.
  • ABSOLVE : 77
  • CONDEMN : 0
Creative directors don't want to be constructive. They just want to be right.
  • ABSOLVE : 65
  • CONDEMN : 4
I have cried at my desk every day for the past 6 weeks.
  • ABSOLVE : 47
  • CONDEMN : 11
I'm in accounts. I secretly opened a "new business" job number so my designer friend and I have something to bill the time we waste on this site to.
  • ABSOLVE : 41
  • CONDEMN : 17
My biggest fear is to call an Asian person by another Asian person's name.
  • ABSOLVE : 42
  • CONDEMN : 15
When you say either of the following, I picture stabbing you in the eyeball with a pencil: " I don't want to play art director but.." or " I don't want to play copywriter but.."
  • ABSOLVE : 38
  • CONDEMN : 2
The last three brands we've launched have all been my creation. Where the hell is my raise?
  • ABSOLVE : 72
  • CONDEMN : 6
"Does he have any digital?" No. I have Super Bowl spots, national double-page print spreads, guerrilla ads, a couple of One Show pencils, and 13 years experience, but no digital. Because it takes a true advertising genius to come up with a Facebook post.
  • ABSOLVE : 100
  • CONDEMN : 17
Yeah, I live dangerously. My Buzzfeed bookmark sits directly above a bookmark of a lesbian video.
  • ABSOLVE : 21
  • CONDEMN : 2
I have seen every new cool website people share to me, but I pretend not to, because I don't want them to think I browse the web all day long.
  • ABSOLVE : 36
  • CONDEMN : 3
I designed my boss' daughter's portfolio that got her into art school.
  • ABSOLVE : 12
  • CONDEMN : 101
I can think of no fate worse than being killed slowly by recycled air, sugar-coated fried refined flour, and bad puns...
  • ABSOLVE : 21
  • CONDEMN : 4
My local Subway sandwich artist has a more creative job than this.
  • ABSOLVE : 55
  • CONDEMN : 3
I can't type without looking at the keyboard.
  • ABSOLVE : 63
  • CONDEMN : 27
The lack of a feature you did not ask for is not a "bug." Please stop referring to it as such. Your inability to communicate is not my issue!
  • ABSOLVE : 56
  • CONDEMN : 1
Edit Studios: The oasis in a desert of mediocre office buildings
  • ABSOLVE : 15
  • CONDEMN : 0
Why the hell do they hire more accounts and PMs when what we actually need are more copywriters and art directors?!
  • ABSOLVE : 83
  • CONDEMN : 5
I HATE "Got Milk?" more than anything in existence except the rip offs it has spawned.
  • ABSOLVE : 38
  • CONDEMN : 0
If I want to watch an Episode of "Mad Men", all I have to do is stick my head out my door. KILL. ME. NOW.
  • ABSOLVE : 24
  • CONDEMN : 8
I just named a file lets_try_again.indd
  • ABSOLVE : 68
  • CONDEMN : 4
I gave a client exactly what they wanted.
  • ABSOLVE : 45
  • CONDEMN : 35
I must be the hot Art Director referred to below.
  • ABSOLVE : 30
  • CONDEMN : 23
Do not walk into my office first thing on a Monday and say "Good morning, sunshine." It makes me want to stab you with a rusty x-acto knife.
  • ABSOLVE : 35
  • CONDEMN : 5
I think my Art director is hot
  • ABSOLVE : 30
  • CONDEMN : 6
I am useless!
  • ABSOLVE : 47
  • CONDEMN : 8
I yell out "APPLE Z" on a daily basis.
  • ABSOLVE : 19
  • CONDEMN : 7
Interns always know where to get the best weed.
  • ABSOLVE : 70
  • CONDEMN : 11
Whenever my CD rips off an ad he saw in CA or Archive, I find it, make a copy of it and pin it to the creative department bulletin board for all to see. Next time I'll put his ad next to it.
  • ABSOLVE : 82
  • CONDEMN : 1
I want to fuck my partner til she can't form a coherent sentence. Fine, shoot me. She's married and so am I. But she hates her husband and I loathe my wife. Can you really condemn me?
  • ABSOLVE : 81
  • CONDEMN : 158
I just designed a wedding invite for the Walmart buyers. FML.
  • ABSOLVE : 43
  • CONDEMN : 8
My feet smell horrible! I'm keeping my shoes off and enjoying everyone's expressions while they pretend not to notice. Ahhhh open floor plans...
  • ABSOLVE : 23
  • CONDEMN : 67
Please stop attempting to use art speak when you talk to me. You're embarrassing yourself.
  • ABSOLVE : 53
  • CONDEMN : 1
I found this site after Google searching the phrase "I hate my creative director."
  • ABSOLVE : 121
  • CONDEMN : 0
I wish I were a designer. I'm tired of having to think.
  • ABSOLVE : 45
  • CONDEMN : 134
If my CD tells me to "turn and burn" one more time I'm gunna "turn and burn" this doobie.
  • ABSOLVE : 32
  • CONDEMN : 1
I schedule meetings during horrible meetings for immediately after the horrible meetings so I can't stay longer than the horrible meetings are scheduled for.
  • ABSOLVE : 44
  • CONDEMN : 2
Nothing makes me happier than to make copy changes with the simple note that reads: "Subhead needs the word FREE in it. Make it all uppercase." One more week to go at this place and I'm back to my freelance career. Thank God
  • ABSOLVE : 24
  • CONDEMN : 1
"It's a keyboard not a fucking typewriter asshole. You don't need to beat the shit out of it." - I only beat the shit out of it because I'm pretending to beat the shit out of the rest of you.
  • ABSOLVE : 36
  • CONDEMN : 8
Is it Friday yet?
  • ABSOLVE : 65
  • CONDEMN : 5
When someone asks me how to do something in Photoshop or Illustrator I have to mime the key command with my left hand because I can't remember the actual strokes. Just make your fingers do what mine are doing and it will work.
  • ABSOLVE : 75
  • CONDEMN : 1
I just haphazardly converted a photo to CMYK using the "U.S. Web Coated (SWOP)" profile without knowing what the hell that means.
  • ABSOLVE : 47
  • CONDEMN : 4
I am blown away by the fact that facebook wouldn't allow me to run an ad that had 'consecutive punctuation marks'. The copy was punctuated correctly. I hope facebook never wonders why no one takes them seriously as an advertising platform.
  • ABSOLVE : 50
  • CONDEMN : 4
Every CD has a moment where they hit an age and lose their eye for good designs. My CD hit that point this morning.
  • ABSOLVE : 42
  • CONDEMN : 10
I'm not grouchy because I haven't had my coffee. I'm pissed because I fucking hate seeing all of your pretentious faces every morning!
  • ABSOLVE : 61
  • CONDEMN : 1
The guy next to me keeps playing loud shitty music all the time, and he has 3 headphones laying around his desk. So when I fucking shoot him with a bazooka, Im gonna say "he was asking for it"
  • ABSOLVE : 29
  • CONDEMN : 6
Just came back from a client meeting. When we asked about any key messages they wanted to convey he said "Well, 30% of people, when they first walk in here, say 'Thank God you're not black'". He was a doctor.
  • ABSOLVE : 6
  • CONDEMN : 15
I was looking at an online dating profile of a very attractive girl and thought to myself "hmm... I really like the way the photo gallery user interface is set up on this site"... this is why I'm single.
  • ABSOLVE : 87
  • CONDEMN : 2
I dread going into my office everyday so much so that I purposely walk on a nearby wonky sewer cover on my way in... hoping I might fall in.
  • ABSOLVE : 40
  • CONDEMN : 5
I made the mistake of thinking this line of work would be fulfilling because it's creative. It's neither. I wish I could start over, but after 10 years of doing this I don't know what else I'd do.
  • ABSOLVE : 87
  • CONDEMN : 5
My day rate is what it is for a reason. If you don't want to pay me what I'm worth, that's cool. Hire someone with less experience and insight and pay them less. But don't fucking insult me by trying to pretend your blue-chip, brand-name client doesn't have the money. It's bullshit and we both know it.
  • ABSOLVE : 101
  • CONDEMN : 1
I hate consultants. First, they convince agencies to pay them astonishing amounts of money. Second, the agency usually does what the consultant says even if it does not make sense because they don't want to look like idiots by paying someone all that money and not listening to them. And third, the consultant will never say they way you are doing things is fine because that does not justify the price tag. I wish I were a consultant.
  • ABSOLVE : 33
  • CONDEMN : 6
We design coupons! not life saving machines or next generation farming solutions. Stop taking your worthless excuse for a job so serious.
  • ABSOLVE : 69
  • CONDEMN : 5
I'm tired of hearing the other creatives complain that the AOR gets to do the good share of the work. There's a reason we don't work there.
  • ABSOLVE : 12
  • CONDEMN : 4
I'm leaving my job staring into a glowing rectangle every day. I'm taking a BIG pay cut to spend my days taking care of other people's children. I have no idea how to tell them this.
  • ABSOLVE : 34
  • CONDEMN : 4
It is a constant moral struggle not to pull the Fire Alarm each and every day!
  • ABSOLVE : 40
  • CONDEMN : 1
If you ask me to redo the entire ad and then decide to go with the first ad after all with "small" changes...no, I'm not going to want to work with you again. I'd rather not get paid then work on your projects. Thankfully freelancing let's me do that, unfortunately I sure could use the money.
  • ABSOLVE : 32
  • CONDEMN : 5
To all the retards walking around the malls with their pro cameras taking snaps of everything. "u are not a photographer, u r just an amateur with an over-priced camera"
  • ABSOLVE : 52
  • CONDEMN : 15
For a creative industry, you'd think people would be able to come up with more original phrases to describe selling out than "sold my soul", which appears in every fourth confession.
  • ABSOLVE : 43
  • CONDEMN : 2
The work I did today (sunday) alone in the office - is much better than what I did last the whole last week with co-workers. Leave me the fuck alone so I can think.
  • ABSOLVE : 75
  • CONDEMN : 3
I just won a boatload of money on the Kentucky Derby, guess who is giving his notice on Monday and taking the summer off...oh and I know nothing about horse racing...suck it account people
  • ABSOLVE : 35
  • CONDEMN : 4
If you were an artist or a writer, you would not be working in advertising.
  • ABSOLVE : 59
  • CONDEMN : 28
I never read the briefs.
  • ABSOLVE : 47
  • CONDEMN : 18
AEs are the taints of the advertising industry.
  • ABSOLVE : 34
  • CONDEMN : 7
"Please change this bullet to some kind of starburst." I refuse.
  • ABSOLVE : 56
  • CONDEMN : 4
Some days I go to cnn.com just so that I can realize that my life doesn't suck as much as others do....
  • ABSOLVE : 31
  • CONDEMN : 4
I play out death scenarios for my office mate in my mind and how I'll have to act like I'm sad instead of ecstatic...
  • ABSOLVE : 20
  • CONDEMN : 5
When someone says, "welcome to my world," I want to punch them in the throat.
  • ABSOLVE : 39
  • CONDEMN : 2
I am working on an account to promote a "revolutionary" product for the food industry to clean cooking oil. The product is nothing but sand and salt.
  • ABSOLVE : 13
  • CONDEMN : 2
I've come to a place where I have no anger left. Just quietly making plans to escape at this point.
  • ABSOLVE : 39
  • CONDEMN : 1
walking fast around the office with your laptop open pretending that you are "slammed"... nobody likes you
  • ABSOLVE : 28
  • CONDEMN : 3
I feel sincerely sorry for the former copywriters and art directors who are, 20 years late, STILL at the former smoking hot Minneapolis agency. Guys, it's just sad now. Just sad. You should be doing something else. When I run into one of them and they look condescendingly at me because I'm out of the biz, I feel superior. I have an 8 figure net worth now due to a non-sexy manufacturing job. Absolutely true and depressing to a lot of people I'm sure.
  • ABSOLVE : 16
  • CONDEMN : 20
My dream account is Imodium.
  • ABSOLVE : 26
  • CONDEMN : 1
I just click all the Pathfinder options until I find one that does what I want.
  • ABSOLVE : 97
  • CONDEMN : 6
When our company was acquired and had to move, we hid open cans of cat food for the new tenants. Later, we went back for a visit to say "hi" and they had blocked off the basement. Fuck. We are complete assholes.
  • ABSOLVE : 8
  • CONDEMN : 7
I still don't know how to change from cmyk to spot colors in illustrator
  • ABSOLVE : 11
  • CONDEMN : 31
Women shouldn't be Creative Directors. And yes, I am a woman, working for a woman CD.
  • ABSOLVE : 18
  • CONDEMN : 52
It's a keyboard not a fucking typewriter asshole. You don't need to beat the shit out of it.
  • ABSOLVE : 18
  • CONDEMN : 3
A gradient is not the smear of willow charcoal. A line of code captures nothing. And the "creative" work produced in advertising is only moving people to piss away their money, destroy their health, and otherwise waste their precious time. I want out.
  • ABSOLVE : 15
  • CONDEMN : 8
I guess i'd feel better about polishing off projects if I was the one stamping them with "Approved."
  • ABSOLVE : 4
  • CONDEMN : 1
The clutter on my desktop looks like something out of an episode of "Hoarders".
  • ABSOLVE : 22
  • CONDEMN : 3
This is more universal than creative, but why do the fat people get to dictate the office temperature instead of the healthy people?
  • ABSOLVE : 44
  • CONDEMN : 8
I don't understand why we're not supposed to say "That's not my job." Why would you want me to waste my time (and yours) doing something that I don't know how to do?
  • ABSOLVE : 38
  • CONDEMN : 0
"Just bang this shit out." doesn't make me want to finish it faster.
  • ABSOLVE : 18
  • CONDEMN : 1
I absolutely despise my agency. I only stay because I've slept with several coworkers. Nobody knows because of the high turnover.
  • ABSOLVE : 39
  • CONDEMN : 13
We say brainstorming but what we mean is getting drunk in the back room and praying something comes to us before the deadline.
  • ABSOLVE : 62
  • CONDEMN : 6
Was told in my performance review that I sometimes don't seem "engaged" on the phone. That's because I'm busy listening and taking notes. You want someone who's 100 percent engaged all the time? Hire an actor.
  • ABSOLVE : 17
  • CONDEMN : 0
You are a producer, not a creative.
  • ABSOLVE : 43
  • CONDEMN : 3
Yeah, go pick up all those awards. I'll stay here doing the real work.
  • ABSOLVE : 45
  • CONDEMN : 5
HATE HATE HATE ::coffee:: ugh fine- send over your changes...
  • ABSOLVE : 24
  • CONDEMN : 2
How many copywriters does it take to change a light bulb? "NOBODY changes ANYTHING!!"
  • ABSOLVE : 28
  • CONDEMN : 5
I need it for yesterday. WTF does that even mean?
  • ABSOLVE : 48
  • CONDEMN : 0
In my performance review, my VP told me I was "no fun to work with." I reminded her that I'd designed all the packaging, ads, marketing and sales kits for 3 product lines in less than 6 months and had never missed a deadline. Oh and I was going through a divorce. She said, "Yeah, but you're no fun." There went my raise. Die, bitch.
  • ABSOLVE : 127
  • CONDEMN : 3
I can't remember the CMYK for our company's graphic standards. I've worked here 9 years.
  • ABSOLVE : 30
  • CONDEMN : 10
My art director thinks I'm mean with everyone... That hurts my feelings, oh no, actually I don't have any of those left since I sold my soul to advertising.
  • ABSOLVE : 21
  • CONDEMN : 9
I used comments from Al Gore's Amazon book reviews, as the base of my copy for a right-wing environmental policy website.
  • ABSOLVE : 19
  • CONDEMN : 3
You don't come to work on time? I watch youtube until you show up. Fair is fair.
  • ABSOLVE : 67
  • CONDEMN : 2
My ECD hates me, so in order to test my theory, I had someone else submit my ideas. Approved. FML.
  • ABSOLVE : 69
  • CONDEMN : 2
Everyone on this account has left, including the client.
  • ABSOLVE : 48
  • CONDEMN : 1
As a female creative, when other women get defensive when I'm doing a better job than they are, I just want to say, "Don't be bitchy. Be better."
  • ABSOLVE : 55
  • CONDEMN : 5
I'll be damned if going into labor and delivering a baby makes me miss a deadline for submitting a magazine ad. We are a sick breed.
  • ABSOLVE : 21
  • CONDEMN : 44
I just passed on washing my hands so I wouldn't be in the bathroom when a partner got done pissing.
  • ABSOLVE : 29
  • CONDEMN : 31
I still can't pronounce the name of the agency I work for.
  • ABSOLVE : 50
  • CONDEMN : 6
My Copywriter is so fucking mean with everyone. I like it.
  • ABSOLVE : 50
  • CONDEMN : 9
I respect a hack who's honest about what he does for a living more than a talented prick who thinks he's saving the world one packaged goods ad at a time.
  • ABSOLVE : 60
  • CONDEMN : 3
I follow my boss on Instagram to see if he's in the office or not.
  • ABSOLVE : 60
  • CONDEMN : 1
Most of my older co-workers are divorced and it sincerely terrifies my newlywed self.
  • ABSOLVE : 49
  • CONDEMN : 1
We would rather spend money on recruiting new people when we win new business then retaining the talent who helped us win the business.
  • ABSOLVE : 8
  • CONDEMN : 44
Stop making me do 10 more options. Of course the first one was the best.
  • ABSOLVE : 66
  • CONDEMN : 3
I've been working as an Art Director for 8 years but I much prefer writing copy.
  • ABSOLVE : 17
  • CONDEMN : 6
Jeans and t-shirts don't say "creative". They say "broke slob".
  • ABSOLVE : 16
  • CONDEMN : 65
Snickers Commercials: The home for Hollywood hasbeens. Maybe they got a volume discount?
  • ABSOLVE : 14
  • CONDEMN : 3
My ECD has a 6th-grade reading level and his favorite band is ICP.
  • ABSOLVE : 7
  • CONDEMN : 33
Yeh, can you send me another, "while Im out of the office" email. Because, seriously, I care what you're doing...
  • ABSOLVE : 16
  • CONDEMN : 0
You are a Project Manager, not a Creative Director.
  • ABSOLVE : 55
  • CONDEMN : 12
I'd say the CCO is a sack of shit: but sacks of shit can be used to fertilize the soil and bring forth new and beautiful things into this world. I guess he's more of a radioactive waste spill.
  • ABSOLVE : 54
  • CONDEMN : 2
I never run spell check. Never.
  • ABSOLVE : 17
  • CONDEMN : 32
Automatically assuming people in this industry who are successful are assholes automatically makes you an asshole.
  • ABSOLVE : 30
  • CONDEMN : 29
The guy who came up with the idea to advertise, is a stupid son of a bitch and if iI get to go back in time, I would fucking murder him in cold blood and make the world a better place where all artists and writers are actually doing something good for themselves and for others as well. The End.
  • ABSOLVE : 38
  • CONDEMN : 22
Our Sr. Copywriter can't get promoted to ACD because the CD thinks he is fat. Life just ain't fair.
  • ABSOLVE : 31
  • CONDEMN : 13
The ability to fart freely is directly proportional to job satisfaction which is why open floor plans make everyone fucking miserable.
  • ABSOLVE : 55
  • CONDEMN : 2
After being out of the office for a week, I just found a bag of Pork Crackling on my desk. WTF is going on here!?!?!?!?!
  • ABSOLVE : 19
  • CONDEMN : 1
My job has started to give me hives on a daily basis.
  • ABSOLVE : 27
  • CONDEMN : 1
I hate having to switch from my work laptop to my personal laptop to watch porn.
  • ABSOLVE : 33
  • CONDEMN : 15
I will never be successful in this industry because I'm not a big enough asshole.
  • ABSOLVE : 75
  • CONDEMN : 4
I fucking hate open floor plans.
  • ABSOLVE : 76
  • CONDEMN : 1
I hate it when my boss overuses the word 'hustle.' Just. Stop.
  • ABSOLVE : 20
  • CONDEMN : 1
Just saying "I don't like it." is not constructive criticism.
  • ABSOLVE : 76
  • CONDEMN : 1
When I didn't get a raise, on an already low salary (per industry standards), I stopped feeling guilty about doing freelance projects while at work.
  • ABSOLVE : 99
  • CONDEMN : 1
The only thing I'm "pumped" about this week is torrenting Game of Thrones from my work computer.
  • ABSOLVE : 44
  • CONDEMN : 2
My youth and beauty are wasted every day sitting in a box, staring at a monitor, building digital crap to make businesses more money. My ass grows. My brain shrinks. My precious minutes are spent.
  • ABSOLVE : 83
  • CONDEMN : 3
Every Sunday evening I think about suicide. Than I get up and go to my agency. Kind of a same thing.
  • ABSOLVE : 44
  • CONDEMN : 5
This week at work I'm going to try to be less cynical. I'll even go so far as to say I'll try to be positive. Except for the 3 hour WIP on Monday morning. During that I'll be a massive prick because it's a waste of mt precious time on this planet.
  • ABSOLVE : 17
  • CONDEMN : 2
97% of Art directors studied art or design, 95% of copywriters studied writing or literature. 99% of AE's didn't study ANYTHING.
  • ABSOLVE : 82
  • CONDEMN : 10
RIP good advertising.
  • ABSOLVE : 17
  • CONDEMN : 6
Stop bothering me with work -- I'm trying to watch the fuckin' draft.
  • ABSOLVE : 19
  • CONDEMN : 12
My partner left for vacation today so I'm changing all of his copy
  • ABSOLVE : 8
  • CONDEMN : 38
I set up beautiful websites for clients in WordPress. They are allowed access to update the site. Two months later, the site looks like shit.
  • ABSOLVE : 65
  • CONDEMN : 5
I want to work on advertising for condoms so I can get paid to be creative and think about sex all day.
  • ABSOLVE : 27
  • CONDEMN : 3
Typical Friday. Nothing to do all morning and most of the afternoon, then a shit storm an hour before the end of the day.
  • ABSOLVE : 113
  • CONDEMN : 2
Being able to dickpunch clients who change their minds at 4pm on a Friday for something they need the next day? I wish there was an app for that.
  • ABSOLVE : 68
  • CONDEMN : 1
I've placed a Dream Catcher over my bed to fight off all my dreams of producing good work Legal kills everyday.
  • ABSOLVE : 14
  • CONDEMN : 1
Most of my writing projects aren't writing projects. They're Word doc formatting projects. Glad the client is paying a premium for creative.
  • ABSOLVE : 27
  • CONDEMN : 3
I buy whiskey not based on the looks, but on the necessity of it to get through the week...
  • ABSOLVE : 29
  • CONDEMN : 2
No, in fact, the Jaguar branded content film is not good. It's a hacky piece of shit with terrible, wooden performances. Fuck you for wasting the opportunity. And time. And money. Oh, and BMW already did that. 12 years ago.
  • ABSOLVE : 34
  • CONDEMN : 2
I have to take so many adderall to feel 'creative' every day at my 9-5.
  • ABSOLVE : 26
  • CONDEMN : 1
I have 222 unread work emails in my box.
  • ABSOLVE : 33
  • CONDEMN : 3
I once made the password for a video we made for a soul food festival "friedchicken." I was not ashamed of this.
  • ABSOLVE : 29
  • CONDEMN : 14
"Edgy" headlines take longer and cost more.
  • ABSOLVE : 32
  • CONDEMN : 2
I don't know what's more frustrating: Working with uncreative "Creatives", or being a creative "Non-creative"
  • ABSOLVE : 65
  • CONDEMN : 11
I have been working on this fucking outdoor for the past 7 months.
  • ABSOLVE : 23
  • CONDEMN : 0
The only cool thing i get to design, and not asked for any changes, is my desktop wallpaper.
  • ABSOLVE : 64
  • CONDEMN : 1
Sometimes I take screenshots and rename them and add .jpeg, so people think i actually took the time to save it as a jpeg.
  • ABSOLVE : 24
  • CONDEMN : 5
I spend more time trying to decipher bad cursive handwriting than the actual changes.
  • ABSOLVE : 27
  • CONDEMN : 0
I buy whiskey based on the looks of the bottle and I'm proud of it!
  • ABSOLVE : 19
  • CONDEMN : 9
I'm a copywriter. I love to fuck men in the ass - and I am beautiful hetero girl. The most important thing - THEY ASK FOR MORE ;)
  • ABSOLVE : 32
  • CONDEMN : 58
I've been around the ad business for forty years, and here's what I can tell you for sure: 1. Every era has its myopic nitwits who think this week is the most exciting, innovative, creative time ever. 2. Advertising today is no different than it ever was. It's mostly mediocre crap with the occasional light dusting of brilliance. The Ad Contrarian
  • ABSOLVE : 48
  • CONDEMN : 2
One of the most incompetent people I have ever worked with 'endorsed' me on LinkedIn. How do I delete that???
  • ABSOLVE : 59
  • CONDEMN : 3
I just took a job as a social media community manager.
  • ABSOLVE : 13
  • CONDEMN : 52
When art directors still manage to make typos after a direct cut and paste job of my copy, I die a little bit inside each day.
  • ABSOLVE : 63
  • CONDEMN : 4
Actually just finished my advertising career yesterday telling my boss to go F herself....I am not sure what the next chapter of my life will be, but anything has got to be better than advertising
  • ABSOLVE : 79
  • CONDEMN : 3
Ferrero is the worst client ever.
  • ABSOLVE : 33
  • CONDEMN : 2
You know you've been in the car ad writing business when you are actually trying to talk your creative director INTO an ad that screams.
  • ABSOLVE : 13
  • CONDEMN : 3
Spent the day designing my own "I quit 'dis bitch" t-shirt to announce my resignation. I haven't been offered another job yet, but when I am, I'll be ready for Friday Casual.
  • ABSOLVE : 29
  • CONDEMN : 3
I want to design a web site with Parallax scrolling just because it's cool.
  • ABSOLVE : 22
  • CONDEMN : 7
I wrote the manual.
  • ABSOLVE : 8
  • CONDEMN : 5
Sometimes I actually enjoy a day booked end to end with meetings. It makes it easier do nothing productive and get away with it.
  • ABSOLVE : 65
  • CONDEMN : 2
And I was canned for not sitting at my desk until 8pm.
  • ABSOLVE : 63
  • CONDEMN : 7
I just got canned. And I'm fine with it.
  • ABSOLVE : 36
  • CONDEMN : 1
These deck images are going to look great in my portfolio!
  • ABSOLVE : 25
  • CONDEMN : 3
I thought my first confession would be best written while on a conference call where our SVP's roll out our new agency name and plan of action for the company. After I submit this confession, I'll be looking at indeed.com for the remainder of this call.
  • ABSOLVE : 8
  • CONDEMN : 2
Should I be embarrassed for putting facebook ads in my portfolio?
  • ABSOLVE : 11
  • CONDEMN : 47
AEs are dumb prancing whores. They only exist because creatives don't want to have to deal with stupid clients on a daily basis.
  • ABSOLVE : 47
  • CONDEMN : 11
Advertising is an industry of egos. BEWARE.
  • ABSOLVE : 35
  • CONDEMN : 0
Working on Philips has traumatized me. Now my house is full of GE bulbs.
  • ABSOLVE : 18
  • CONDEMN : 0
Irresponsible workers should just stay at home and be a farmer.
  • ABSOLVE : 9
  • CONDEMN : 4
I'd like to apologise to every one of my design tutors for the word-art, sunburst logo that I'm about to professionally create.
  • ABSOLVE : 29
  • CONDEMN : 1
I went to university so that i could stop the exact work i have ended up doing and i hate every second of it.
  • ABSOLVE : 12
  • CONDEMN : 1
Never using chrome before at work, I opened it today and was like what is this "incognito" browser window... Then I found the dude that used to work on my computers stash of porn. Then showed my coworker and she told me he used to take really long bathroom breaks...
  • ABSOLVE : 6
  • CONDEMN : 1
I just quit my job, and I am done with this fucking industry forever...I just could not take it anymore
  • ABSOLVE : 20
  • CONDEMN : 2
I wish this agency had conjugal visits.
  • ABSOLVE : 41
  • CONDEMN : 3
Forget ad schools. Go out and sell something.
  • ABSOLVE : 24
  • CONDEMN : 5
Being tall is not overrated. I promise you potential clients agree with me.
  • ABSOLVE : 14
  • CONDEMN : 7
I can't tell if some of the people I work with eat powdered donuts for breakfast or do lines of blow in the morning.
  • ABSOLVE : 41
  • CONDEMN : 0
I wonder daily who originally saw potential in the people working on the client-side. Shouldn't hiring be a selective process or are there only idiots applying for jobs nowadays?
  • ABSOLVE : 5
  • CONDEMN : 2
I like to embarass people who still do not understand how and where the PDFs get downloaded to their computer from the website. Come on modern-day analphbets, get your act together and tune in to the 21st century
  • ABSOLVE : 2
  • CONDEMN : 2
I checked a woman purchasing DOVE soap in the drugstore. Yep, the editor had flipped the sketches in the commercial.
  • ABSOLVE : 10
  • CONDEMN : 11
I practice 4 hours a day how to fake laugh with colleagues and clients, I have to say, I'm getting better at something.
  • ABSOLVE : 58
  • CONDEMN : 2
I think it's okay to like your own ideas.
  • ABSOLVE : 85
  • CONDEMN : 3
i have a principle of never lying to clients, which inevitably ends with me lying to myself about how i'm not lying to my clients.
  • ABSOLVE : 25
  • CONDEMN : 2
If I see one ad that capitalizes on the tragedy in Boston I will cut them.
  • ABSOLVE : 54
  • CONDEMN : 5
I love the people I work with. I mean only creatives, I so much love spending time with them I kind of look forward to monday only to hang out in the office. for work I dont give a shit, I give my best only to prolong the hanging out part... did I mention I am a girl with 5 guys in the office? office gangbanging ... dream on ... monday... oh who gives a shit I ll probably end up with at least one of them... luscious copywriter that's me fuck yeah
  • ABSOLVE : 16
  • CONDEMN : 79
If I see one more creative resume that says "think of me as a problem solver" I'm gonna wipe my ass with the resume and mail it back to them.
  • ABSOLVE : 44
  • CONDEMN : 3
My new job starts in one week. I'm removing CSS & HTML from my resume. Off to the glorious land of vector for all eternity and I'm never looking back.
  • ABSOLVE : 51
  • CONDEMN : 1
I feel sorry for some of the people on here, but not as sorry as I feel for myself.
  • ABSOLVE : 51
  • CONDEMN : 3
At least twice a month I need to explain to someone that unlike my coworkers, I cannot do my job from a Blackberry or iPhone. Since I at least need a computer and internet access, I cannot deal with your "emergency" when I'm out of town/at a grocery store/restaurant/doctor/wedding.
  • ABSOLVE : 58
  • CONDEMN : 2
"Right booking now" and "Ship my pants." That's what this industry has come to, isn't it?
  • ABSOLVE : 15
  • CONDEMN : 3
I take screen shots when my confessions get published and save them in a folder on my desktop. One day I'll quit by printing these, taping them all over the walls, and just leaving without a word to anyone.
  • ABSOLVE : 111
  • CONDEMN : 1
I browse craigslist everyday to find people near me that are selling cheap mini fridges so I can finally have a bar under my desk.
  • ABSOLVE : 34
  • CONDEMN : 3
I am perpetually living Einstein's definition of insanity - and he's right.
  • ABSOLVE : 36
  • CONDEMN : 1
I think that saying the client's name six times in a :30 just about covers it, thanks.
  • ABSOLVE : 24
  • CONDEMN : 1
Brad Pitt can't out act me in a meeting pretending to give a shit.
  • ABSOLVE : 50
  • CONDEMN : 2
To my CD: the walls in this office are so thin that closing the door actually makes it easier to hear you. And I like you much less than you tell people I do.
  • ABSOLVE : 25
  • CONDEMN : 1
My boss just told me that an ad I made was "a little too auschwitz-y." I had no words.
  • ABSOLVE : 42
  • CONDEMN : 1
While the new Lucky Strike logo is nothing special, it sure as hell beats the old one. I'm goddamn sick of you other designers having fits anything old (and painfully dated) gets a redesign. Maybe they'll redesign PBR cans next so all the hipsters will have a collective aneurism!
  • ABSOLVE : 37
  • CONDEMN : 8
I use photobooth to pop zits in my office.
  • ABSOLVE : 18
  • CONDEMN : 24
I use my mac camera to pop zits in my office.
  • ABSOLVE : 4
  • CONDEMN : 6
How much do we charge for "just" a logo? Fuck you.
  • ABSOLVE : 35
  • CONDEMN : 2
Dear its-okay-to-shit-at-work, No. Hell no.
  • ABSOLVE : 13
  • CONDEMN : 45
There is a nearly empty bottle of wine behind our coffee maker. We don't judge what goes into your mug here.
  • ABSOLVE : 53
  • CONDEMN : 1
I put fake meetings on my calendar to seem like I am not available until at least next week
  • ABSOLVE : 48
  • CONDEMN : 4
I just completed the best color separation of my career, and now my clients are flooding me with requests for ever more complex illustrations to separate that are due to print early next week. I need to stop raising the fucking bar.
  • ABSOLVE : 46
  • CONDEMN : 1
So, wait. You want me to use "at the top of our game" AND "creating game-changing solutions for your business?" Slow down there, Six Sigma B2B asshole. Let me get my copy of Fast Company and cherry pick some other equally douchey but far less used Inc., Inc. bullshit buzzwords
  • ABSOLVE : 45
  • CONDEMN : 1
My Facebook posts are better executed than this job I'm working on.
  • ABSOLVE : 39
  • CONDEMN : 1
I can only work and care so much before secretly rooting for the pitch to lose. At least then it would be done and over with.
  • ABSOLVE : 38
  • CONDEMN : 2
A client sent over a fancy cheese plate as a 'thank you', but it didn't have brie. How can a cheese gift be taken seriously without brie?
  • ABSOLVE : 32
  • CONDEMN : 39
I hate it whenever we get awarded, all of a sudden client demands more than ever as if their budget can be changed. damn it.
  • ABSOLVE : 20
  • CONDEMN : 2
i hate debriefing. i hate debriefing. i hate debriefing. i hate debriefing. i hate debriefing. i hate debriefing. i hate debriefing. i hate debriefing. i hate debriefing. i hate debriefing. i hate debriefing. i hate debriefing.
  • ABSOLVE : 21
  • CONDEMN : 3
There's a reason there are Playboy magazines in the office toilet.
  • ABSOLVE : 13
  • CONDEMN : 13
The biggest problem with within advertising is the people here who don't understand it. They got into the industry because they thought it was for hot people and parties.
  • ABSOLVE : 8
  • CONDEMN : 0
I love the false sense of awesomeness Miami Ad School hammers into its students. Makes me crushing their hopes, dreams and aspirations a lot more fun.
  • ABSOLVE : 37
  • CONDEMN : 15
I recommended changing creative to a fundraising campaign to play up the charity angle to capitalize on the Boston Marathon tragedy. My boss agreed with me. I am the worst form of human.
  • ABSOLVE : 4